Who You'd Be Today
by Xo-Samm hearts SVU
Summary: Elliot thinks back after the death of his partner. Post Fault. Song Credit goes to Kenny Chesney's 'Who You'd Be Today'


I've never written a story where the main character dies, but I was listening to Kenny Chesney's 'Who You'd Be Today' and I just needed to write to it.

I don't own anyone, obviously. Reviews are nice :)

Rating: T, just to be safe.

**Enjoy.**

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Sunny days seem to hurt the most  
Wear the pain like a heavy coat  
I feel you everywhere I go**

Sunny days seem to hurt the mostWear the pain like a heavy coatI feel you everywhere I go 

Elliot looked at the empty desk that sat across from him. The now empty desk once held the contents of his beautiful, bubbly partner. He looked at the picture that was on her desk of him and her goofing around with his kids, Dickie and Lizzie. They all had smiled on their faces after playing a tiring round of badmitten.

**See your smile, I see your face  
I hear you laughing in the rain  
Still can't believe your gone**

"It's my fault she's gone. I wouldn't listen to Gitano and now she's gone." Elliot thought to himself. "I moved. I moved and he shot her."

The squad at the 1-6 wasn't the same as a whole. The compassion for the victim wasn't there in Elliot, Fin or Munch. The ability to make a child smile was gone. Not to mention the smiles from the men in the precinct were virtually non-existent anymore.

**It ain't fair you died to young  
Like a story that had just begun  
But death tore the pages all away  
****God knows how I miss you  
All the hell that I've been through  
Just knowing, no one could take your place  
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today**

The eulogies from the people most admired from Olivia's life replayed in his mind.

_Flashback_

_Casey stood in front of the rather large church filled with fellow co-workers of Olivia, as well as her friends. "Thirty eight years old. That's way too young to die, especially when you life a life like Olivia's." Casey stopped and took a deep breath to stop herself from breaking down into tears.  
_"_Olivia was the only person that I knew who was able to be one hell of a detective by day and then one gorgeous, fun woman by night.  
_"_I never expected Olivia and I to become as close as we did. I knew coming in and replacing Alex wouldn't be easy, and when I first met Olivia, I wasn't sure that I would even make it through the first case. When the first thing you get greeted by is 'who the hell are you', that normally doesn't stand out as a good start to a friendship in my mind." Casey paused as people laughed. "Alex and Olivia were close, but when she opened up to me about her mother once, I knew that we could get along.  
_"_I'm going to miss the nights that her and I would sit around my office, eat Chinese food, and talk about cases. Olivia was an amazing girl who I know that will never be forgotten."_

"_Hello, as many of you know, I'm Donald Cragen, Captain of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. I never thought that I would be in front of a crowd of people saying good-bye to Olivia. I never even thought that she'd last, with her past being as rough as it was. But once she made it through the first case, I knew that she would be a perfect member to the 1-6.  
_"_I like to refer to my squad as the dream team. Not because of the job, god knows how rough that is, but because of their dedication they have to them. Olivia was so good with everything in her years as a detective and she never let anything stand in her way. From the way she chased down the perp, to the way she helped the victim, she was superb in her doings.  
_"_My precinct will never be the same without Olivia. Not only will I not have one of my best detectives, but also my other three main detectives will never be the same. I've always looked at Olivia as my daughter and I know that she will be looking down on our precinct helping us catch our perp and save our victims. Thank you."_

_Maureen stood in front of the church with her sister, Kathleen by her side. She looked at Kathleen for comfort and started to talk. "I've known Olivia since I was thirteen years old and she's always been like an older sister to me, as well as Kathleen. When our dad first brought Olivia to meet our family, and introduced her as his partner, I remember thinking 'wow, someone this beautiful is out doing the same thing my dad does? She has to be a cool girl', and she never failed that thought."_

_Kathleen and Maureen switched places and Kathleen stood in front of the microphone. "When our parents split up, it hit my sisters, my brother, and I very hard. We all knew that mom and dad weren't getting along very well to the end of their relationship, but we were all shocked when they announced their divorce. One night when Maureen, Elizabeth and I were at home while mom was at one of Dickie's basketball games and dad was working, we talked about how our lives wouldn't be the same. The three of us got extremely worked up and so we called Olivia and she suggested coming over to have a girl's night with her and Casey.  
_"_The five of us stayed up the entire night talking, laughing and eating. That night we went through three pizzas and countless bags of chips and pretzels. My sisters and I had an amazing time with Olivia and Casey, I just wish that she would be here to do it again with us."_

_Maureen moved back up to the microphone. "Olivia always came to our support us if she had the time from her busy work schedule. I know that Dickie will always be looked down on when he's making that home run for his team. I know that Elizabeth will always be looked down on when she's cheering at a school football game. I know that Kathleen will always be looked down when she's taking a test in her college class. I know that whatever I choose to do with my career, I will be looked down on. And I know that the 1-6 will be looked down on because they do so much for our community. Lastly, I know that Olivia will always look down on my dad because right now he needs it the most.  
_"_He's gone through so many things that most people never experience in their life. She's going to look down on him and bless him with whatever comes his way. Thank you." Maureen said and her and Kathleen walked back down to the pew where their father sat. _

"_Thank you." He whispered, hugging the both of them.  
__End flashback _

**Would you see the world  
Would you chase your dreams  
Settle down with a family  
I wonder what would you name your babies  
Some day's the sky's so blue  
I feel like I can talk to you  
And I know it might sound crazy**

Elliot always knew that Olivia wanted to start a family. It was one of the things that she wanted to do before her life was over. He remembered sitting on her couch eating pizza and talking about the future that she wanted to fulfill.

_Flashback_

"_Elliot?" Olivia asked as she took a bite of her pizza._

"_Yeah?" He asked, taking a bite of the cheeseburger sub on his plate._

"_Have you ever thought about the future?"_

"_What do you mean?" He asked, taking a sip of his beer._

"_I mean, do you think you'll be a detective forever? Do I think that I'll be a detective forever? Will you find someone new now that your divorce is final? Will I find someone that I think is worthy to spend the rest of my life with? Will you have any more kids? Will I have any kids…"_

_Elliot put his hand up to silence his babbling partner. "Okay, number one, you talk too fast. Number two, take it one step at a time…"_

"_The future?" She asked._

"_Everything. Take life one step at a time, because God knows that I haven't."_

"_What do you mean?" She asked, getting up to throw away her plate. _

"_I mean, I met Kathy, we got pregnant, I went into the military, we had three more kids, I became a detective… it all was such a blur. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my children, and I love my ex-wife because of my kids and our past but I would give anything to make it go slower."_

_Olivia sat back down on the couch across from him, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a NYPD t-shirt. "I wish I could say the same thing about me. My life seemed to go so slow and now that I actually enjoy it, it's going to fast."_

_Elliot smiled. "It's good to hear that you enjoy your life, Liv. Now, to your questions… I have no idea how much longer I want to be a detective. I also have no idea if I will find anyone else that I will love like I loved Kathy. And I honestly don't know if I want any more kids. Before I said that I would never want any more, but now that the twins are teenagers, it just doesn't seem like something I never want to do."_

"_Well that's good to hear, I guess." She said leaning against him. _

"_And for you, I hope you'll be a detective until the day that you die because you're great at it. I know for a fact that you'll find someone who will love you even with your job because you deserve it. And last, I hope that you can find someone who you feel comfortable enough to have children with because you'd be a great mom."_

_Olivia looked up at Elliot and smiled at him. "You know, that's so great to hear that from you because I know that you say what you mean."_

"_I try, I try." He said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and propping his feet up on her coffee table. _

"_You know what my worst fear is, now that we're on the subject of the future and things…" She said. _

"_What?"_

"_I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life." She said, softly._

"_Olivia, you are going to find someone who loves you and will stay with you forever."_

"_Thanks, Elliot."_

"_Anytime."_

_A few minuets of silence passed when Elliot broke it. "What would you want your kids names to be?" He asked. _

"_For a girl, I'd love to name her Samantha Alexandra. And for a boy I love the name Christopher Joseph."_

_Elliot smiled at his partner. "Those are great names, Liv. I've always pictured you the mother type."_

"_What?" She asked, looking up at him._

"_You seem like the type of mom that your kids friends love to be around. I can see you chasing a little girl in diapers around a nice house with a white picket fence and your husband playing catch in the back yard with your son. It just seems to come natural for you."_

"_I just hope it happens before my life is over."_

"_It will, I promise."_

_End Flashback_

He was right, she would be a detective until the day that she died. She died protecting him and Rebecca. He just wished that she would have been older.

But, he let her down. She never reached her goal of being a mother, being a wife, being an old woman. He wiped a tear from his eye and tried to concentrate on anything but the death of Olivia.

**It ain't fair you died to young  
Like a story that had just begun  
But death tore the pages all away  
God knows how I miss you  
All the hell that I've been through  
Just knowing, no one could take your place  
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today  
**

He and Olivia went through so much as partners. They went through everything from being shot at to going undercover as a married couple. Elliot had gone through so much in the last few months that he was surprised that he wasn't cursed. He lost his wife, his children, his partner who happened to be his best friend, and it would only be so long before he lost his job because of some stupid mistake.

Cragen brought in someone to be partners with Elliot, but Elliot couldn't handle the fact that some rookie was replacing Olivia.

_Flashback_

"_Elliot, I want you to meet your new partner. This is James Andrews, James, this is Elliot Stabler." Cragen said introducing the two. Elliot stared the man down and looked at his scared face._

"_Cap, can I talk to you in your office?"_

_The two walked into the office leaving Brad to stand in the middle of the bullpen._

"_Capitan, how can you bring a rookie in here and replace Olivia like that?"_

"_Elliot, you know perfectly well that I am not trying to replace Olivia. No one will ever replace her but you know that you have a job to do."_

"_I know, but a rookie?"_

"_Who would you want to be your partner, Elliot? Anyone that I bring in, you won't like and will put up some type of attitude. If Gitano would have hit you instead of her, don't you think she'd be putting up the same fight?"_

"_Yes." He said, looking down. _

"_And what would you want her to do?"_

"_Go and do her job."_

"_Exactly. Now do you think Olivia wants you to sit around and mope over people when we have a rape case to sort out?"_

"_No, your right…" He said going out to the bullpen. "Thanks, Cap."_

"_No problem. Oh, and Elliot?" Cragen said as he turned around. "If you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, do it for Olivia."_

_Elliot smiled. "I will."_

_End Flashback_

**Sunny days seem to hurt the most  
I wear the pain like a heavy coat  
The only thing that gives me hope  
Is I know, I'll see you again someday**

"Elliot." Melinda said, walking over to Elliot's desk.

"Hey." He said, smiling weakly.

"I brought over something that was at the morgue that you might want to keep." She said and handed him an envelope. "Keep it safe. I've gotta run." She said.

"Thanks." He said opening the envelope. Out fell the necklaces that Olivia wore daily. A small tear ran out of his eye and he didn't bother wiping them away.

"You miss her a lot, don't you?" Casey asked, sitting on the side of his desk.

"A lot is quite an understatement. She was my best friend, Casey. The one person that I had left anymore. I lost."

"Well, you know that you'll always have a part of her with you, and she is looking down on you."

"I know." He said, fumbling with the necklaces in his hands.

"You'll see her again someday, Elliot."

Elliot hadn't realized that. "You're right Casey, thank you." He said, patting her leg.

"Come on, let's go get a piece of pizza, my treat."

"Thanks." He said, standing up and leaving with Casey.

He would always have Olivia in his heart and the memories to live on. And when he passed on, he would see her in the afterlife. And he couldn't wait to see her smiling face in person again.

**_Someday._**

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Reviews are greately appreciated. 


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